Lessons learned from friends
As we approach the end of 2021, I find myself in deep reflection of the wins, the challenges, and lessons learned along the way.
In general, reflections are typical and often daily Olivia behaviour, so I can’t say I’m surprised.
What has surprised me though, is how many lessons there have been. As I sit at my desk, trying my best to be hydrated, I am realising how big of a year 2021 has been for me. I broke down barriers and limiting beliefs in myself that I didn’t realise I still held. I created time for myself and space to heal. I challenged myself in ways I hadn’t before.
But the true constant among the ups and downs, have been my friends.
When I moved to Wellington in 2015, I don’t think I could have ever dreamed of all the people I know now or how deep our relationships would be (and I have very wild dreams, let me tell you). Shortly after I arrived in the university hostel for the first time, I wrote several motivational quotes and sayings on post-its and plastered them around my room wherever I could find space.
One saying sticks in my mind right now:
Every person comes into your life for a reason.
Many years on I am still incredibly grateful for all the friends who have been there since the beginning and all the ones I collected on the way. I also know that most of you will be reading this now.
So, this is a written collection of the things I have thought when you’ve supported, shared your stories, and been there with me.
The three lessons that you taught me this year are:
1. How to enjoy the present
On my first ever visit to the Johnsonville Library I picked up a book called The Art of Flaneuring: How to Wander with Intention and Discover a Better Life. I was interested in the book because the techniques it discussed were about appreciating and living in the moment.
The book reminded me of how in the past I struggled with staying in the present because I’d be stuck analysing the past so I could plan for a better future. Upon telling a few friends about this newfound concept, I feel like they went out of their way to create ways where we could all appreciate the present together - simply to do things because they made us happy.
To all the friends who have taken me on adventures and brought fun into my life, thank you. You have taught me how to listen to my own needs better by giving me the room to say yes (or no) to social outings, and accepting my decision if I change my mind. You remind me how important it is to create spaces for myself to simply be.
2. How to be vocal and visible about the things I love
There is truly something beautiful about seeing the sparkle in a person when they talk about what lights them up. It really could be anything - from horse-riding, running, or eating kimchi.
Listening to the stories from friends who are fiercely dedicated to their passions is inspiring. As is their support in my own passion projects like when I try to incorporate Korean words into daily life or that time I decided to get really into woodblock printing.
Their genuine support and interest in the things I’m doing, in addition to watching them chase their own dreams, encourages me to continue sharing my own. And quite honestly is the reason why I started this website.
To all the friends who are chasing their dreams and doing what they love: keep trying and going. You’ve got this.
3. The importance of having a mission and direction
Weekend weekly goal setting sessions have featured heavily for me this year and they are one of the reasons I feel grounded (in a good way) by the time I reach Monday.
If you know anything about me, it is that I have a wide variety of interests and hobbies. What this usually means is that projects are constantly competing for my attention. The act of goal setting on the weekend really helps me focus and re-prioritise what I want to be doing in the coming week and evaluate how the previous week went.
It is particularly beneficial to be saying these goals out loud too because they suddenly become more tangible (and therefore achievable). I’m also reminded that I’m allowed to dream as big or as small as I want to, no goal is off the table. Also, that if I want to achieve some of my bigger missions, like achieving TOPIK 1 (Level 2) in Korean proficiency, then I need to break them into sizeable chunks like studying Korean for 10 minutes every day.
Thank you to all the friends who have helped me find my missions and directions. You have shown me that even in times where I wasn’t sure wanted to go, at the very least I could focus on the week ahead rather than the years to come, and that my smaller efforts over time contribute to something much bigger.
Of course, there were many more lessons that my friends taught me this year, but these three are the highlights.
Every day I continue to be amazed at how my friends show up for me, their strength, and the lessons they teach (often accidentally). I look forward to all the adventures and the stories you have to share.
And of course, thank you for simply being your wonderful selves.
Best,
Olivia