The Cusp of Greatness
As last year began to come to a close, I found myself pondering my goals for the new year with a hint of dread. For someone who genuinely feels like they’re fully living their life – having a rich social life, working on personal development, bringing their best self to work, and committed to their physical health – the thought that I must add more to my life in 2024 made me feel a little nauseous.
I am living a much healthier life than I once was, with consistent routines and kinder mindsets, and for that I am very thankful. But I think the reason for my aversion to resolution setting came from feeling like I had no room to add anything more or make changes, because I’m at saturation point. I have no issues with setting goals, and for the most part, achieving them. Does there come a point at where you feel you’ve healed and done enough personal growth that you no longer want to approach life at bullet train levels of speed? Or in other words: at what point do I feel like I’ve achieved enough to consider my life successful? 🤔
And yet, this in direct parallel to another ticking time bomb of an insecurity which is that I will forever be stuck on the cusp of greatness – never fully making it to my destination of doing something of great meaning. That I will forever be someone who has great potential but who will never give a TED talk, or finish a novel, or make a new scientific discovery.
This feeling has other names – perfectionism telling us we can never be perfect or believing in our ‘not enoughness.’ It is a mindset that has been my recurring big boss battle constantly throughout my life.
And yet, there has been another thread of thoughts doing laps in my mind recently – that is, how much I have begun to adore the past versions of myself, some of who I see have accomplished truly great things. Gosh, to be able to say that honestly taps into a level of self-love that I wasn’t sure I’d ever reach. But to openly say that I love the versions of me who:
Wrote over a hundred letters and made cards for the people she loved to tell them why she was thankful for them.
Organised memorable public events from very little.
Pivoted careers from working to data to working with people.
Wrote hundreds of ideas for stories, poems, and thoughts to explore.
Tried and tried again. Even when things were really hard.
There’s also something really beautiful in knowing that there are so many more versions of me who I’m proud of in a way that I’ve never been before. I mean, I knew that I was terrible at acknowledging my accomplishments but to really see that in full force now is overwhelming. Imagine how much love I had been denying myself, as I reached for new levels of growth and greatness? It’s not like those past versions aren’t still with me, and nor does it mean that I’m not accomplishing great things now – perhaps, I’m just not seeing them. And perhaps I don’t have to add anything new to my life right now in order to be great.
So, my dear Reader, today’s reflections revolve around resolutions I have for myself so I can help see my awesomeness now (not for where I’m going or where I will be). I hope that in sharing these reflections, that you learn how to acknowledge your greatness too.
Recognising that the things come easily to you are not necessarily easy
Wrap your head around that sentence, my friend. The things that are an innate part of who you are, are not necessarily things that are easy to learn or do, but because you do them naturally then you might not always see the value in those strengths. In other words: by simply being yourself, you add value.
It’s taken me a long time to see the benefits that I bring to a team or a friendship group because I didn’t understand that was so something different from what other people were bringing. Things like positivity, my ability to learn new things quickly, and future thinking means that I’m good at inspiring action in others and being someone they go to when they need help.
2. Letting go of the mindset that you will be great after only you’ve done something
I used to think that I would be doing great things after I finished my Bachelor’s degree, or after I had been working for a few years, or even after I’ve published my own novel. There is always going to be another after. So, instead of focusing on the greatness that we’re going to achieve in the future, how about acknowledging the version of yourself who is the one taking and accomplishing all the steps you’re doing on the way.
For this, I’ve added two new regular journal prompts which are “Something brave I did today” and “Something I accomplished today”. I can guarantee you that there is something that you can put for both of those, if only you make the space to see that.
3. Treating your everyday life like a Ghibli movie
Have you ever seen how deliciously tempting the food in any Ghibli film is? Or the way that the leaves rustle and flow in the wind? Or how the atmosphere can feel hopeful even in moments of somberness?
I have learnt that the antithesis of feeling hurt and self-critical is to practice self-care. For me, the best kind of self-care is the one that alights the joy inside of you – drinking your favourite tea, playfully spotting cute dogs while doing for a walk, and doing the most mundane of things with a lens of magic. I’m going to allow myself those small moments like appreciating the way the rolling bubbles of boiling water looks, or the strange musicality of the washing machine as it does its thing, and much more. Thank you to the friend who encouraged me to see life this way.
When writing this I couldn’t help but think about how much fondness I have for you. I see so much beauty and greatness where you are right now. And while I always look forward to seeing what you accomplish, I am honoured to know the person you know and share time with. I am feeling so thankful that you’re here, particularly as the world feels a little harder right now.
I would love to hear something that you’ve accomplished, whether that’s something that you’re doing now or from some past time. Take a moment to acknowledge who you are and how you got here.
Let’s all make the resolution to treat ourselves with kindness today ❤️
With much love,
Olivia